The Gender Card

Queen of Spades

Let me state right from the start, I do not like playing the gender card. Sweeping generalizations about how men and women “are” make me bristle. I do not consciously frame myself in this world as a woman first. I am a person. I am unique. I happen to be female in gender. And in part, because of that, I often resist believing that there are any barriers to entry in positions or fields.

I am the youngest of 8 children – 6 girls and 2 boys. My mother was atypical for her generation. In 1962, when my father told her to get a hobby, she took flying lessons and became a pilot. Consequently, two of my sisters also went on to become pilots. One of them became the first female Airbus A330 captain in the world. Did she ever flaunt that fact? No. She’d be mortified to set herself apart by gender, that by being a woman she should somehow be singled out or assessed differently is the antithesis of how we were raised.

The mindset in my family has always been, “of course we are equal, of course we can do it, there is no reason why we can’t do what we want or be what we want.” And in that equality, we expect no special treatment – either for, nor against our gender.

And so, from time to time, when I’ve encountered overt statements of sexism in the workplace, I’m usually flummoxed. As recently as 5 years ago, while holding a management position at a tech company, I had a C-level executive make direct comments to me that sounded as if they were right out of the 1970’s. I left his office scratching my head and wondering how someone only a few years older than myself could be such a dinosaur.

Despite my own personal attitude of equality and a belief that any reasonable person would feel the same, I have encountered situations that have shown the world to be otherwise. I have been told by a superior that I would not get an increase in position because I was a woman. I have been passed over for promotion because I was on maternity leave. At conferences these days, I see a discrepancy in the number of women who keynote or lead panels vs. women participating in the industry. It’s out there. But I still don’t want to believe it.

In 1999, I was working in marketing for a large computer software and hardware distributor. I decided that, for personal growth, I wanted to learn how to build a web site and didn’t know anyone who could teach me. I started to investigate where to find resources and happened upon a group of women who were committed to helping others advance their technology knowledge and careers. Together, we founded DigitalEve International, a non-profit, volunteer run, grass roots organization. I founded the Vancouver chapter and grew the membership to 2,000 people within 18 months, way back in the days of listservs. Then I joined the International team to oversee marketing, specifically branding, for more than 50 chapters worldwide, each of whom wanted their own regional identities and flavour considered.

The DigitalEve experience taught me so much about building communities, working with volunteers and creating programs from zero. But, it was the camaraderie I felt, the friendships that took hold and ultimately, and the difference that we all made in helping women to advance themselves in technology careers that made the experience so rewarding.

While representing DigitalEve, I was often asked if we were “against” men or if by our mandate we were exclusionary. I responded that women can’t advance in traditional male careers without the help and acceptance of men, and that those men who want to help and share what they know were always welcome to join us.

It’s been 7 years snce I left DigitalEve and here I am collaborating on a blog focused on women in technology and business. If my experiences in those years are any indication, I still think the culture of business – especially tech focused businesses – needs a little help in opening up and accepting women as equals in all ranks and pay scales. Mostly, I think it’s a question of habit. Both men and women need to look at their norms and assumptions about who does which job and why, then ask themselves if all is right in that world. If you see room for improvement, then it’s time for you to take action. Collaborating on the Technically Women blog is just one of my contributions to changing habits and taking action. What are you doing?

Post Script: I did learn how to build a web site back in 2000. I took HTML and CSS in some of the first classes delivered online at British Columbia Institute of Technology and learned how to hand code a site without the aid of today’s visual editors. As a marketer, this has been an invaluable skill to have.

Photo used under Creative Commons license. http://www.flickr.com/photos/govert1970/ / CC BY 2.0

11 Responses to “The Gender Card”
  1. Fabulous post, Adele. I guess we all have our stories to tell. In tech, it’s only been this iteration of my career (in the Internet space) that I’ve had such a wide selection of women integrated into my social circle of professional friends.

    I probably have to attribute that to how Marketing, with its higher percentage of women, has so deeply penetrated the Internet space.

    You are correct, though. All is not right in our world. I hope this blog makes a difference.

    by admin
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  2. whoops. didn’t realize I was logged in. that comment above was from me. :-) #dumbgirlsintech.

    by Susan Scrupski
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  3. Very nice post Adele.
    As your friend I’m very proud of you and have really high hopes on this website.

    I’m sure this blog will make a difference with the great collaboration from all of you.

    by Max Block
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  4. Adele,

    Thanks for focusing on this issue. I attended some of Enterprise 2.0 conference last week and the proportion of women attendees and speakers was quite low. Unfortunately, I have also noticed this phenonomen in other industries. I think we’re all aware of the wide discrepancies between the ratio of men and women in the C-suite, something which can’t be entirely explained away by women leaving the workforce to have children.

    I’m excited about your new blog and look forward to hearing more from such a fantastic group of smart tech women. Thanks so much!

    by Pamela Rosenthal
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  5. being in analyst in enterprise communications, it is even more prevalent as I’m often amongst engineers, techies, etc and furthermore, am latina, considered a double minority! It is disappointing to see the lack of women in this industry and even more disappointed that when up against my male counterparts, my forwardness and frankness is considered “bitchy”, while his is considered intelligent and innovative.
    Keep up the good work!

    by Vanessa Alvarez
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  6. Susan – thank you so much for your kind words. I look forward to collaborating with you on this Blog.

    Max – what a surprise to see you here and thank you so much for your comments. As a techie who is accomplished and knowledgeable, you are in a great position to help and encourage women to advance in your field. If we do our part with this blog and other efforts and you do yours, together we can surely make a difference.

    Pamela – I’m glad that this post struck a chord with you and thank you for your support of this new venture. I hope to see you here again.

    Vanessa – I think so many women can relate to your experience of being forthright in a male environment. I’m happy that you found us here at Technically Women.

    by Adele McAear
    on 01. Jul, 2009

  7. Adele, great post and insight. Thoughout my career as a sales manager, I’m constantly asked about who makes the better sales person, women or men. My response has always been the same; everyone has their individually personal attributes and skills. Those who know what they are and more importantly, how to apply them, win.

    by Steve Dodd
    on 02. Jul, 2009

  8. Great post Adele!

    I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum — defending myself because of my gender as well as refusing to acknowledge that gender was a factor at all.

    I was raised to believe that my gender wasn’t a limitation – simply a happenstance of birth.

    In the face of overt sexism (like say, watching an executive try to pitch paperclips into the cleavage of his admin on my first day of work – true story) I have been as baffled as you… But at this point? I love finding places like this new collaborative blog of yours – where women gather to celebrate being successful.

    Best of luck to all of you!

    by Lucretia Pruitt
    on 02. Jul, 2009

  9. Hi Adele,
    What I found really interesting in your post is that you encountered the automatic perception that a group with the goal of providing collaboration and learning among women was inherently anti-male.

    Also, your comment about habit. I imagine women are frequently overlooked for promotions as an oversight based largely on habit, and not conscious consideration.

    I suppose the only way around that for those in management and executive positions to make a conscious effort to consider whether they’ve forgotten anyone when making hiring and promoting decisions.

    by Rick
    on 03. Jul, 2009

  10. Steve – You are so right about those who know their own skills and can apply them will be successful. Thanks for coming by.

    Lucretia – I think that the experience of having both defensive and non-issue stances is so very common to women these days. Thank you for your comments and for your support of our new blog. It’s much appreciated.

    Rick – Sadly, the perception of being anti-male when there is a collaboration of women is more common than you may think. Also, I truly believe that discrepancies are often there out of habit more so than any maliciousness. Thank you for reading, for your comments and for your support here.

    by Adele McAear
    on 06. Jul, 2009

  11. Adele,

    Thanks for sharing your story. It’s funny how profession can dictate treatment towards women – I went to journalism school, where maybe 10% of the class was men. Then I entered the field of public relations, and at my agency of 100 people, again maybe 10% were men. Now, I’m at a tech startup with a female CEO, and 3 out of our 4 employees are women. I’ve been lucky enough to be in female-dominated learning environments and workplaces – and I intend to keep it that way. The stereotype of the backstabbing career woman just isn’t true – I’ve found female colleagues and superiors to be supportive, kind, and extremely intelligent.

    Good luck with the blog – I’ll be reading along!

    Erin

    by Erin Bury
    on 14. Jul, 2009

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